La Forza del Destino
by KarisKaori
Summary: Bella Swan made a mistake. She fell for someone, fell pregnant and hastily married the man, who had since disappeared. Now she's alone with a baby. A single parent. The one situation she did not want to be in. What does Destiny have in store for her?
1. Prologue

**_This is my first attempt at a fic, more chapters to come. Big thanks to my wonderful beta - ElectricEvie!_**

**_Oh and I don't own Twilight.  
_**

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**Prologue**

I lay in a daze on the bed. My eyes still closed to the world. The drugs must still in my system. I recalled I'd begged enough for them. My hearing came back slowly, as if someone was turning up the volume on a stereo notch by notch.... I could hear voices, _maybe it was the TV. _They became clearer and clearer as I opened my eyes. I saw my father before me, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"Bella? Can you hear me sweetheart? Bella?" he asked, turning to face my mother and exclaimed "Look, she's finally awake! Bella? How do you feel?

That grin was still permanently placed on his face. I'd not seen him so happy in, well ever. My Dad wasn't great with emotions, unless his favorite team won or he caught a particularly impressive fish.

I turned to see my Mom, who gazed at me adoringly, stroking my hair "Bella honey, you did so good, we're so proud of you" The tears in her eyes were evident, tears of joy and elation.

There were my parents. In the same room as each other in more than 20 years. They rarely spoke on the phone and all of a sudden here they are. Together. Charlie & Renee together. It was hardly believable. _Wait a minute. Where am I? Why am I here?_ The stark realization as to why, hit me like a tonne of bricks

My mouth felt dry, I coughed and spluttered trying to get the words out, but I couldn't. I was desperate to communicate. I became almost panicked in my execution to speak.

For some bizarre reason, my parents were calm in comparison. "Here honey, drink some water, you must be exhausted" My Mom handed me a plastic tumbler. I couldn't drink it fast enough. It wasn't enough, I felt my thirst wasn't even partially quenched.

My words came out in a barely audible whisper, "Where's.... where's". I cleared my throat to try and repeat myself

"Sshh Bella, it's fine, everything's okay" My Mom cooed. "You're at Forks General Hospital. I just can't believe you made it. They were really concerned at first, you lost a lot of blood, I've taken extended leave from work to help you out, you're going to need it" She smiled and stroked my cheek. I felt content for the first time in this past few minutes. As I closed my eyes, a wave of emotion fell over me. "Oh honey, don't cry. Everything will be fine" she continued

My Dad, feeling that now was not the time to intrude on mother-daughter time stood up from his chair. "I'm going to go and get a drink, leave you ladies to it. Really proud of you Bells" he winked at me, which made me smile weakly. He looked at my Mom "Renee, do you need anything?"

"No thanks Charlie, I'm fine" she replied. It was lovely to see them getting along. That in itself caused yet even more emotion to flood out of my frail tiny body, lying awkwardly in a hospital bed, watching my Father walk away. _No, not walk, skip_. My Dad skipped out of a hospital ward. _Man, he must be really happy, _I thought.

My Mom stood up and turned to a white cot on the left hand side of my bed and took out a small bundle, wrapped in a white towel. She grinned as she handed me, what would be, the absolute love of my life for the rest of my eternity.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet your daughter" My Mom beamed. "She was born at 5.38am, weighed 7lbs 2oz and she looks just like you did when you were born"

I stared at the crumpled face of a baby, all dark hair and fragility. I always wondered how people thought newborn babies were cute. To me, they always looked like ET. However this one, this baby, _my baby_, who had lived inside me for 9 months, _9 very long and arduous months,_ this one was special. She wasn't just cute. She was beautiful. I found my eyes filling with tears as I gazed upon the face of my creation. A daughter. A beautiful baby girl. _My baby_.

During those 9 months, I'd longed for this day. The day of release. My pregnancy had not been particularly easy. She made up for all the pain, all the sickness, all the pre-natal visits.

My Mom broke the beautiful silence "Have you thought of any names?" I could tell already just by her gaze towards my baby; she was in absolute love with her grand-daughter.

"I thought of a few.... I really like Charlotte or Emily or Eleanor, after Grandma" I replied "But I think Jacob has his own ideas, he wants to name her Sarah, after his mother" I sighed. I wasn't against the name Sarah, but it felt a bit old-fashioned. Jacob had explained that it meant "Princess" in Hebrew, and that if we had a girl, she'd be _his princess_. Still, as he wasn't here, I stubbornly told myself, it wasn't his decision to make.

"Charlotte is nice, she suits Charlotte" Mom replied, still gazing adoringly at my baby.

"Yeah" I replied "She does look like an Charlotte. Charlotte Renee has a lovely ring to it" I could tell from that instant, that my Mom was ecstatic.

"Oh Bella, that's just wonderful!" she threw her arms around me, minding carefully not to hit the sleeping babe in my hold. "I'm so touched, I mean I never expected you to name her after me" My lovely scatterbrained mother obviously didn't realize that Charlotte was a female variation of Charlie, I let her hold on to her happiness, I was sure she would figure it out.

_My baby._

_Charlotte._

_Charlotte Renee._

_Charlotte Renee Black._

_Sarah Renee Black._

I felt my heart change course. As much as I despised Jacob right now, could I really deny him the opportunity to name his daughter after his deceased mother? Sarah wasn't an awful name, _At least it wasn't Mavis_. I chuckled to myself. I looked at my daughter and imagined her wedding day....

_Do you, Charlotte Renee Black_

_Do you Sarah Renee Black_

I decided to let her, my precious baby, decide. As I repeated each name over and over in my mind, I watched for a sign. A message from her that whatever she moved, or blinked, or wiggled at, that would be her name. A brief yawn from the tired bundle of joy told me everything I needed to know.

I looked around my ward, at all the other women, surrounded by family and friends, talking, laughing. Women with their husbands and boyfriends near them, enjoying the precious moment.

I felt a prickle of heat and a sting in my eyes. _Where was my husband and why wasn't he here for the birth of our child?_

_Welcome to the world Sarah Renee Black._


	2. History Part 1

**_Ok, this is classed technically as a second chapter, however it's actually a look into Bellas story up until now. History chapters you could say. This is History Part 1 (of 3), I hope you enjoy. Feel free to ask any questions. Huge wonderful thanks of course to ElectricEvie, she's a top-class beta!_**

**_Oh and I don't own Twilight._**

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**History - Part 1  
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My life hadn't always been this responsible.

Up until the age of 23, I lived with my Mom in Phoenix. Her & Charlie, my Dad, divorced when I was barely out of diapers. Mom always wanted the best for me and certainly did not want my life to emulate her own.

I visited my father occasionally, but he was over 1400 miles away in Forks, so they were few and far between. I could have easily lived with him at any point, had I wanted to, but my Mom and I just had a connection. She was more like a best friend. We talked about clothes and boys, her lack of a stable love life was something that surprised me greatly. She was a young-looking athletic woman in her early forties, with a excitable vivacious nature. In many ways, she was the child and I was the parent. She nearly re-married, a minor-league baseball player called Phil Dwyer. She got cold feet 10 days before the wedding and called it all off. When we found out that he'd since married someone else, my Mom seemed somewhat offended;

"She's barely older than you Bella, I swear!" A severe case of the green-eyed-monster, even though she was the one who had dumped him. I had liked Phil. He was a good guy. You don't get many of those these days.

High school came and went and I applied to several universities to study Biology. I'd always loved the classes, so it seemed the natural choice. My teacher, Miss Meyer, was as enthusiastic about teaching the subject as I was to learn it. It was she, who suggested I look into teacher training

"I think you'd be a great teacher Bella. You have this amazing approachable nature to you and your enthusiasm shines through. You could change the lives of children you know...." Miss Meyer told me one day, as we spoke about it. I felt a rush of blood to my face, but the idea that she believed in me, egged me on.

When I was accepted into Arizona State to study Biology, my parents were thrilled. It was hard work, but great fun and completely worth it. Four years soon flew by and to celebrate graduation, me and my three girlfriends Satsuko, Angela & Jessica decided to travel the world, or as much as we could do. As we lived in my home town of Phoenix, it was decided we would visit our respective other home towns. Satsuko, although born and raised in Chicago, had family in Yokohama, Japan. Angela was an overseas student from Brisbane, Australia and Jessica was from Forks, Washington. Coincidentally where I had been born and where my Dad still lived.

After a month in Japan and a month in Australia, we caught a plane from Brisbane to Seattle. My Dad was thrilled we would be visiting and insisted on picking us up personally. We all piled into his Police car – 4 girls plus luggage. Surprisingly, the old sedan coped well. We arrived in Forks in good time and I admired the forest views. Although Forks was classed as a city, there were barely 4,000 people, if that. Although he didn't have enough space to put up all of us, Dad had agreed that Satsuko and I would stay with him and Angela stayed with Jessica at her parents place. It all worked.

My Dad had welcomed me with open arms, but I had never intended to stay more than four weeks max. I spent a lot of time with him, we even fished together. It was nice to have some alone-time; just me and my Dad. I had rarely seen him in my life and it was like I was getting to know him all over again. I met his friends and his fishing buddies. Most importantly, I met my Dads best friend Billy. He was a jolly man with a kind face that just lit up when he spoke. Apparently he and his late wife used to babysit me when I was young. He was a wonderful man and I fell in love with him instantly. Considering he was unable to walk and confined to a wheelchair, he looked at life in such a positive light, I never thought there was another being alive who had such an infectious grin as Billy Black.

That was until I met his son, Jacob.

Jacob was 22. He was a mechanic who worked at Crowleys, the local garage. The first time I met him, he had obviously been working on a car, he was covered from head to toe in grease, dirt and oil. He had smears of oil on his face and wore a tight, white vest which showed off his large arms and defined pecs. He was so dirty he refused to shake my hand, which irked me somewhat. _Maybe he's standoffish?_ I just wanted to touch him, wipe that dirt off his brown skin and bring him a little Bella style filth instead. I shook those thoughts away – he was younger than me _and more immature no doubt._

Needless to say, I was incredibly attracted to Jacob. He seemed to be very sweet, very attentive to his fathers needs and good buddies with my Dad. I saw him in passing several more times during my time in Forks, never saying more than a brief "Hi" or "How are you?" It was becoming ridiculous. The more I saw him, the more attractive he seemed.

I was the one who plucked up the courage to ask him out. I was close to leaving Forks to fly back to Phoenix and had confided in Satsuko, who was, for all intents and purposes, my best friend.

"Bella, if you like the guy, just spit it out! Say it! The worse that can happen is that he doesn't feel the same way, right?" Satsuko told me matter-of-factly, while she was carefully folding her clothes into her case

"But what if he doesn't, I mean I'll look like a fool" I replied, passing Satsuko a pair of jeans for her to fold. "I'm old enough to know better!"

Satsuko paused in thought for a moment. "Yeah but lets be honest Bella, your relationship history isn't exactly.... _shall we say_..... varied. You always wait for a guy to make the first move and you either end up with someone you don't like that much because you feel sorry for them or a total jerk who ends up playing you because you're too nice. You've never really experienced a 'real' relationship. You need to take control. You're a modern, independent woman remember!"

Satsuko wasn't wrong. In university I was all about the work. I rarely had the time, or the patience for men. I'd met a couple of guys traveling, but I was more the shy, silent type. Jessica easily won over both of those. I was pretty sure on the same night _at the same time. _Jessica was the man-magnet.

"So you think I should just bite the bullet?" I asked her, in the vain hope she would tell me not to bother.

"Definitely. I saw him at the garage. He's hot! If you don't get in there, someone else will. The guy is prime beefcake" Satsuko winked. She always had a way with words.

"But what if he likes me and I have to go back to Phoenix" I moaned.

"Then don't go back. What's there for you. A few friends and your Mom? You can stay here as long as you like.... or as long as he likes you" she teased. Our flight was due to leave at 11am the following morning. It was now 7pm.

Jacob had no cell, or I didn't have his number. _Probably the latter_. I told myself, I was starting to doubt this already. How embarrassed would I be to leave Forks with my tail between my legs because the local mechanic had turned me down?

I caught a cab to Crowleys and knocked on the small green metal door that lead to the workshop.

I waited. There was no answer.

_Well thats that sorted then. Fate deals its blow. _I turned to walk away, when I heard an engine roaring to life from behind the shed. _Could it be him?_

I walked slowly around the back, I very almost slipped over on a trail of oil coming from a rather large Chevrolet pick-up truck. I remembered it had been my Dads.

He must have heard me call out as I slipped and ran over

"Hey, are you ok?" He asked as he brushed his mop of black hair over his head. He grabbed my arm to steady me.

"Err yeah, sorry, I knocked but no-one answered" I replied sheepishly

"Yeah sorry about that, I've been getting this fixed up for your Dad as a side project" Jacob grinned "I had to rebuild the engine so it's taken a while, I just got it going, so as you can tell, I'm proper happy right now"

_Boys and their toys_, I chuckled to myself

"So, what can I do for you?" He looked at me. I felt my knees go to jelly at this point. "You don't have a car, so I'm assuming its not because you want me for my mechanical skills" he laughed.

I felt my face go a shade of deep crimson. _He must know I fancy him._

"Oh, err, well...." I was making such a hash of this "Tonights kinda my....errr.... last night here and I guess I was thinking.... I mean wondering.... if you'd maybe like to grab a drink somewhere.... or something?" _Smooth Bella, real smooth. _Involuntarily I'd closed my eyes for the backlash but instead he touched me gently on my face, as if to calm me and surprised me with his response.

"Yeah, that'd be lovely. Let me quickly shower and change and I'll be right with you" His hand moved away from my face, where my skin tingled for a short moment. He smiled at me and turned on his heels to a room marked "Clean-Up". _Obviously they have a shower on the premises._

10 minutes later he appeared. I'd never seen him clean. His skin shone a light shade of brown, he ha large piercing brown eyes and the most gorgeous smile. He wore a dark blue shirt and light denim jeans that showed off his body to perfection. He looked amazing. I felt myself gawking at him. It was a surprise that I wasn't drooling and panting like a bitch in heat.

"We can take your Dads truck if you like – it needs a run out" he smiled and showed me to the passenger side, opening the door and assisting me in. Old fashioned values always worked well.

The rest of the night carried on in a similar fashion. Jacob was polite and attentive, we ended up not only having a drink, but dinner too. He drove us to Port Angeles and we ate Italian food under the stars. It was a wonderfully romantic evening. He was a catch. Gorgeous and sweet. And my father would approve. I'd never met a man quite like him and the conversation flowed nicely. He inquired about my travels and my hopes for the future. I in turn, asked him about his career and his life in La Push. He explained about his tribe, the Quileutes and their beliefs and his childhood. It all fascinated me.

I didn't want the evening to end. As he drove me to my Dads, I could see Satsuko in the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of the action. He killed the truck and turned to me.

"You know Bella, I've had such a great evening with you" he looked a little embarrassed "I wish you didn't have to go tomorrow". He looked at me, with sad brown puppy-dog eyes

"I've had a great night too Jake" I replied, touching his arm to comfort him, "I wish I didn't have to go either, I'd really like to get to know you better"

"Why do you have to go?" he asked, slightly bluntly

"Well, I have to get back to my Mom really" I replied, slightly defensively.

"Is she not old enough to look after herself?" Jacob smiled. He leaned up and touched my cheek lightly with his fingers. I felt myself blushing fiercely.

"Well, I could stay" I replied "Given some encouragement to do so" I figured if I was never going to see the guy again, I might as well attempt to be cheeky.

And with that, he leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips, which quickly evolved into a frenzy of passion. I desperately wanted to rip off his clothes here and now, in my Dads Chevy, in front of my Dads house, with my best friend watching from the 1st floor window.

All of a sudden, Jacob leaned away from my embrace. I felt a whimper of sadness escape my lips. He looked like he was summing up the courage to say something. _Here comes the disappointment_, I thought to myself

"Bella. I want you to stay here in Forks for a while. I want you Bella, more than I've wanted anyone else in my life. You're gorgeous, you're funny and you're smart. You're like my dream girl and I really don't want you to leave tomorrow. I'd even go so far as to beg you to reconsider your flight to Phoenix. When Charlie told me about you, he bigged you up, but you've surpassed his comments. You're amazing Bella. I know if my friends heard me say this, I'd get ripped about it, but I don't care. I feel so connected to you and I really want to see what could happen between us. Please say you'll stay Bella, or at least sleep on it"

_What? _I was completely bewildered. I wondered if I was dreaming, but as his brown eyes pleaded with mine for an answer I knew instantly it was all reality. I threw my arms around him. _He feels the same as me!_ Not wanting to sound overly eager, I promised him I would consider staying and would sleep on it. He gave me his cell and asked me to call him in the morning with whatever decision I made. He told me he would respect me whatever but at least wanted a chance to say good-bye.

He gently kissed me good night and drove off. I knew Satsuko was on her way down the stairs to tell me she had seen it all and probably something about what a dirty stop-out I'd been.

I also knew I was staying in Forks. I wanted Jacob. And what Bella Swan wants, Bella Swan gets.


	3. History Part 2

**_This is the 2nd part of the History chapters, there is still a final part to come. Hopefully people aren't too confused! Enjoy!_**

**_Thanks to ElectricEvie, for giving me the confidence to carry on and for attempting to pimp this for me on Twilighted - it's muchly appreciated. That's why she's a fab beta!  
_**

**_As always I don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does._**

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**History - Part 2**

We started our relationship as we meant to go on.

My father was thrilled that I was staying, I called my Mom, who was disappointed but claimed to understand and told me I should get to know my Father. _It's not my Father I want to get to know,_ I'd thought to myself as I hung up the phone.

It was hard to say good bye to Jessica & Angela. It was doubly hard to say good bye to my confidante Satsuko, who was the only one out of my friends to know the real reason behind my staying in Forks. She kissed me on the cheek and hugged me tight and whispered in my ear

"You go girlfriend. I want updates as soon as possible"

My three friends from Arizona State piled into Jessicas Moms SUV for the short trip to Seattle International Airport. I would miss hair-brained Angela and man-magnet Jessica.

Most of all, I would miss my lovely, beautiful Satsuko.

I kissed and waved them away and as I turned to go back to the house, I flipped open my cell and dialed Jacobs number. It didn't take him long to answer

"Hey sexy, how you doing?" he growled down the phone. It sent shivers down my spine

"Hey you! I'm okay, just saw the girls off" I replied. He must have noticed the hint of sadness in my voice.

"Well I have a break in 15 minutes, do you fancy coming over to the garage for a bit of 'R and R', Jacob Black style?" I loved his cheeky nature, it was such a turn-on.

"Yeah, I'll call a cab now" I replied. The thought of seeing Jacob in his sweaty, dirty, manly t-shirt and overalls combo was bringing a huge smile to my face.

I ran into the house, very almost barging my unsuspecting Father to the ground in the process

"Woah Bells, where's the fire?" Dad groaned, my elbow had caught him square in the ribs.

"Sorry Dad, I'm just in a hurry to get out. Do you have the number for Bobs Cabs?" I rustled through the telephone book.

"Where you going? I could drop you off, I'm on my way to the station now anyway" he suggested

I felt quite embarrassed all of a sudden. Would he really want to know I was meeting Jacob Black, even if he would approve. Would he mind? Would he question anything?

"I'm... errr... going to meet Jacob for lunch at Crowleys in 15" I replied hesitantly, waiting for his reaction.

"Billys boy Jacob?" My Dad looked surprised "Wow, that's great, I mean I'm glad you and Jacob get along so well. He's a good kid." A slightly uncomfortable silence followed until it was broken by my Dads decisiveness. "Well, we better get going I suppose, else you'll be late" I was glad my Dad didn't pry into my business, it was a refreshing change from living with my intrusive Mother.

As I waved my Dad off after he dropped me at the garage, Jacob appeared in the doorway. He was wearing a tight white t-shirt and ripped Levis. _Oooh yummy!_ He looked so hot! I walked to him in my most seductive manner I could manage and grabbed him into a passionate kiss. He, in turn, pulled me into the store cupboard. This was his style of 'R and R' it would seem. I had always been shy, especially about my body with other guys but Jacob seemed to wash all those insecurities away very easily. It was a frenzy of passion, it felt wrong in many ways, but in other ways it felt so right. Just the feeling of his perfectly crafted body against mine, his soft, warm skin and his gentle touch turned my legs to Jello.

I was desperate for him to take me, here and now in the store cupboard, I ached for him. Just as he had begged me to stay, I begged him to make love to me over and over again. It was very fast paced and intimate, but my God, it just felt _so good._

These trysts carried on for a further month. We would meet up, talk about the weather or some other mundane conversational topic until we could be alone and then we'd erupt like a volcano. We did it in the store room, toilets, the woods, even on the backseat of Jacobs boss' Ford Torino. It was raw, hot sex. It was like a drug to me, the more I had, the more addicted I became. To my Dad, Jacob was his best buddys son, a sweet, unassuming kid with a heart of gold. To me, he was a sex object. I lusted after him and was overjoyed when the lust was reciprocated. He knew exactly how to pleasure me and I, in turn, knew exactly what turned him on.

This was a man who I'd known for around two months, I had no idea of his history and with hindsight, I should have been more careful.

When I missed my period, I initially wrote it off as hormonal problems. I'd felt ill a few weeks previously and the local doctor had prescribed some anti-biotics. I assumed they had messed with my system, causing my period to be late. _I'll probably get a double-period next month or something_, I laughed to myself. Deep down, I was worried. I hoped beyond hope it wasn't what I thought it was.

When I decided to stay in Forks, I still had some left-over savings from my trip to use for day to day cash. But my money was running out and I needed to get a job. Luckily, my Dad pulled some strings at the local high school as an Admissions Assistant. I helped with class subscriptions, requests to move and general day to day administration and secretarial work.

I'd been violently sick for the second week in a row and was bedridden while my Dad called the doctor. Jacob had called, hoping to see me. As much as I looked forward to 'Jacob R and R', I just didn't feel up to it. He promised to stop by soon and see me.

Dr Cullen rarely did house calls, but my Dad was good with the string pulling. Dad showed Dr Cullen into my room and he felt my hot, clammy head.

"Well well Bella, what have you been up to?" he reached into his bag for a stethoscope. I blushed ever so slightly. Carlisle Cullen was well known in the area for being a favorite amongst women of a certain age. It was easy to see why. He looked in his early 30's and had striking blond hair and blue eyes. If Dr Cullen had any idea what I'd been up to, I'm sure it would turn his platinum skin a distinct shade of cherry red.

After a brief examination, Dr Cullen stood up and quietly closed the bedroom door my Dad had left slightly ajar. He turned to me with a furrowed brow,

"Bella, I know exactly what's wrong with you. It seems that… well, you're pregnant"

_What? There's no way I could be..... I've been on the pill!_ I panicked. Dr Cullen saw my grief-stricken face and attempted to calm me. After a few moments, I gasped out the few words I could cluster together.

"I've been on the pill"

"At the same time as taking those anti-biotics for your illness last month?" Dr Cullen asked calmly "They cancel the effects of the pill. Didn't you read the leaflet Bella? You can easily fall pregnant whilst on anti-biotics"

_What would my Father say? What would my Mother say? I'm 24 years old. I'm too young to have a baby!_

"We need to make you an appointment to check the baby out Bella. Make sure he or she is healthy and see how far along you are. Naturally, you have a choice as to what you wish to do" Dr Cullen gathered his belongings up in one fail swoop. "Of course I won't mention this to your Father"

Barely registering what was going on, I didn't even notice Dr Cullen leaving. All of a sudden I wished I was with my intrusive Mom. She would know what to do. What to say.

Of course, Dad eventually found out why I was upset and knew immediately the source of the sperm in question. I begged him to not visit Billy or Jacob until I figured this all out in my own head. My Mom was less than thrilled. She felt I was throwing my life away for a child out of wedlock. She was right, of course. I was going to be a single mom. Yet another National Statistic.

A further month passed, I had been to the hospital with Dad. He was being brilliant about it. He hated the waiting rooms and the hospital smell, but he insisted on being with me. They told me I was 11 weeks along. As I picked up the scan photo, all I could see was an inconsistent blob. I hadn't decided what to do, but I knew I would have to speak to Jacob. I couldn't really avoid him for much longer.

That night, I stared at the small scan of "Blobby", as I had nicknamed it. I hesitantly searched my cell directory for Jacobs number. I paused for a moment, wondering what he'd say, I swallowed my fear down with a big gulp. There was no turning back.

It rang several times before I heard a chirpy "Hey Bella! Long time no see!" I melted upon hearing his voice. "How are you, Dad said you'd been really ill, like seriously bedridden, I hope you're better?" He was still the same old Jacob. Trouble was, I was not the same old Bella.

"Hey Jacob. Yeah I'm good thanks, still feeling crappy to be honest"

_Understatement of the year, perhaps?_

"Sorry to hear that. Have you seen a doctor?"

_Oh yes, too many doctors_

"Yeah, in fact that's why I'm calling. They've found out why I've been so ill" My heart was beating at 300 beats a minute. I wanted to say the word so desperately but my brain just wouldn't register it. Why was saying one word so hard?

Sensing the pause, Jacob intervened "Oh? What's that then? Too much 'Jacob Black'?" he laughed

I don't know why, but I instinctively hung up the phone and burst into tears. That was exactly the reason. He'd been joking, but it was totally true. I felt disgusted, for the first time, in myself and my actions. I'd been selfish and now I felt I was paying the price.

He rang me back. I ignored the first call so I could attempt to dry my eyes and speak without croaking. The second time I picked up.

"Sorry, I think my cell must have cut out or something? Damn old thing" Jacob laughed warily

"Yeah, probably" I replied "Hey Jake, can we meet up somewhere. I need to talk to you and I'd rather not do it over the phone" It sounded ominous, but I wasn't going to pretend everything was all sweetness and light.

We met up in a local park. As soon as I saw him sitting on a swing, all those old lustful memories came flooding back, I had to suppress them. This was a serious matter.

His expression changed from a big grin when we first hugged, through to bewilderment, through to regret, through to sadness as I explained the situation. I also explained that an abortion was not an option. He had two choices, to stick around or leave. I handed them to him, either way my situation would be the same. It would just make it easier for me if he played an active role in our childs life. _Our child. _It was hard to fathom.

He must have been in shock and asked for a few days to get his head around it all before he made his decision. In my head I felt he was walking away, but agreed to him taking some time out.

He had obviously confided in Billy, who soon made his way round to the house to speak with Dad. I pressed my head against the closed living room door to try and make out what was being said. I very almost fell when my Dad opened the door.

Billy hugged me and excused himself to speak with Jacob. In a way I felt a peace come upon me that the child would have him for a Grandfather.

Throughout this, I had attempted to work yet struggled through the sickness. Thankfully I had a very understanding female boss, who'd had five children herself. She allowed me as much time off as I needed. I felt very grateful for her support, after all, she was providing the paycheck to help fund the child I was carrying.

Several days later, I arrived home from work to see Billys truck parked on the driveway. I immediately knew something was up. As I rushed into the house, Dad, Billy and Jacob were sitting awkwardly in the living room. Jacob looked agitated. As soon as I entered, all three arose from their seats. Dad explained that Jacob had come round to talk to me in private.

As they left and I closed the door behind them, Jacob shuffled his feet as if he were a naughty schoolboy. We stood in silence for several minutes, each waiting for the other to speak.

"You wanted to talk to me Jacob?" I broke the silence

"Yes. I.... errr..... sorry. I've been thinking about things, about us and about the baby. I realize that it takes two to tango and that I helped create this baby and I'm willing to take full responsibility. I've spoken with my Dad and your Dad and I'm going to do the right thing for all of us. I don't want my child to grow up not knowing me or thinking I didn't care about it or it's Mom. You're the Mother of my child Bella and that makes you special. I know it's hardly conventional or romantic and I wish it could be the romantic proposal you deserve...."

_Proposal?_

"Isabella Marie Swan. I want you to be my wife. I want to love you and our child for all eternity. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms and go to bed with you every night. I want our child to know how much Mommy and Daddy loved each other. You're still my beautiful, sexy, smart, funny Bella. You deserve to be worshiped every day. Will you marry me Bella? Be my wife?

What else could I say to that, other than "YES!"


	4. History Part 3

_**Ok, so we're up to the final part of the History chapters.... originally there was meant to be two only but I really struggled to condense the information so you got three! I hope you like this, the final part of Bella's story up until the Prologue. Now the real story starts. **_

_**Yes Edward is in the story and will appear soon, I know some of you are desperate to see him and wondering what the hell Bella is up to. Hopefully this chapter will help you understand the reasons behind her decisions.**_

_**Thanks to my Ab Fab Beta Evie!  
**_

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_**All of Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer of course!  
**_

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**History - Part 3  
**

The wedding was arranged with a fair amount of haste.

My Mom had been informed about the impending nuptials, but was not going to let me get away with getting married without her giving me the same talk her Mother gave her when she was told my Mom was marrying Charlie, at age 18.

"Bella, you're young, you have your whole life ahead of you. No-one says you have to get married, it's not the done thing these days" she pleaded with me over the phone "I mean how long have you known Jacob... a few months? It's hardly a set-up for a happily married life."

I knew she was right. I knew it probably wouldn't work, but I owed it to my baby to at least try and play happy families.

"And they say divorce is more expensive than marriage these days Bella" my Mom continued. She was good at these lectures. At least she learnt something from Grandma. "If your Grandma, god rest her soul, was here now, she'd say exactly the same. Look at me and your Father. Ok, so we get along fine now and I'd never regret having you sweetheart, but marrying your Father was a terrible mistake" Now I was feeling like a naughty schoolgirl getting scolded. I decided to try and interrupt her flow.

"Yes I realize this Mom, but I don't want to be yet another single mom raising a child alone" I cried down the phone. I understood her concerns, but I wasn't a child any more

"Honey, there's nothing wrong with being a single mom, heck I was for most of your life! I'm just saying, please don't rush into marriage. Date him for a while by all means, consider marriage in a few years, having a child out of wedlock is not a big deal any more" Finally, my Mom was acting like a parent.

Regardless of this fact, I was still the child and was adamant I was going to do what was right for Jacob and for our family. I didn't want to explain Jacobs Quileute tribe and their beliefs. Premarital sex was frowned upon by the elders and a child out of wedlock could cause disrespect. This was the main reason for the marriage – we didn't want to offend any of the elders in his tribe, even though I had yet to be formally introduced, Jacob suggested it would be easier if I met them as his pregnant wife, rather than pregnant occasional one-night-stand.

My friends were both shocked and amazed as I met them for their bridesmaid dress fittings. Not only was I marrying the man Satsuko called "the only eye candy in the town", but I was also quite obviously pregnant with his child. I was by this point 20 weeks pregnant and had a fair-sized bump. The girls were enthralled by this and seemed to gain a great amount of pleasure by feeling and prodding it. I had chosen a Grecian style strapless ivory silk wedding dress. It flowed out just below my bust, creating a flattering line yet allowing for plenty of bump growth. I knew it was the one as soon as I saw it. As much as I hated the thought of being pregnant in my wedding photos, part of me told me that it hardly mattered. _Lots of women get married pregnant these days. That's why they make dresses like this._

For Satsuko, Jessica & Angela, I chose an elegant A-line dress featuring embroidery detail at the bodice, made from matte satin, in Amethyst. I loved the deep purple and it was the one color that they could all agree on.

Throughout my pregnancy I tried to carry on working, but as I got bigger I found it harder. It was almost like this baby was zapping not only my strength but my ability to function. I couldn't afford to not work though, we were trying to save money for a deposit for a house, as well as pay for a wedding and I struggled on, which eventually culminated in me fainting through the sheer exhaustion.

Thankfully, Dr Cullen was on hand at the local hospital and gave me the all clear, but suggested I take some time off work to recuperate, at least until the wedding was over and done with. I took his advice for the sake of the baby. I had begun to grow quite attached to 'Blobby'.

Our wedding was scheduled for June 15th, the day I turned 30 weeks pregnant. Billy knew the proprietor of Manitou Lodge, a wood lodge roughly halfway between La Push and Forks, just by the Sol Duc river off the Kilmer Road, that seconded as a wedding venue. It had a large room with a massive stone fireplace, the 'Great Hall' which we could easily fit all our close family and friends in. Between Billy and my Dad, we must have saved a small fortune.

My Mom flew up the day before, she was still nervous about the wedding, but told me she was determined not to spoil the day for me. I was very close to bursting out of my beautiful wedding gown. _Better make sure baby doesn't kick otherwise that could be it, _I grimaced to myself. How embarrassing for something like that to happen on your wedding day.

Of course, Jacob had not seen me in my dress, as was traditional for good luck. I arrived at the doors to the Great Hall, with my Dad at my side and my three friends behind me, smoothing down the back of my slightly strained dress and gently tousling my hair into place, I turned to my Dad with a sense of panic

"Am I doing the right thing Dad?" I simply asked him, desperate for his comfort and guidance.

My Dad stood thinking for what seemed an eternity. "Bells, you're doing the right thing for Jacob and for the baby and therefore you're also doing the right thing for you" He kissed my forehead, I felt that his deliberately evasive response was just the fact that my Dad was no good with emotions or words. I felt calm as the doors to the Great Hall opened and we started the slow march down to the large stone fireplace, where Jacob stood, ready to accept me from my Father.

He looked dashing in a dark gray suit, complimented with a crisp white shirt and a silver tie. Billy matched his dress as Father of the Groom. I somehow knew that the presence of Jacobs Mother was sorely missed. I looked around the quaint wooden hut we were performing the ceremony in. We were surrounded by Quileute members; Rachel & Rebecca Black, Jacobs sisters, the Clearwater family, the Ateara family, the Call family; people I had seen in photo albums but never in the flesh. On my side of the room was my Moms family; the Higginbothams, my Dads family; the Swans and a host of close friends I'd amassed from university, including Satsuko, Jessica and Amanda, who had been seated next to Jessicas family. Seated to the rear of my Dads family were his colleagues from Forks Police. _I hope criminals don't realize all the police force are at the Chiefs daughters wedding. _At the back of the room I noticed Jeanette, my boss from work, as well as Dr Cullen and his wife. _Man they're a good looking couple._

Jacob had insisted on writing his own vows for the ceremony, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable and insignificant. He seemed to say whatever was on his mind, whereas my mind was shut off to everyone, even myself.

After we had said a few obligatory prayers, Jacob turned to me and gently held my hands to his heart;

"Isabella, I promise to love and cherish you for all eternity. To laugh with you in the good times and cry with you in the bad times. No matter what stands in our path, I will always be there for you and our child and our future children. You are the muse of my existence, your beauty, generosity and humility shows no bounds. I feel honored to know you and now I feel humbled to be as one with you. I love you and I will for ever"

The crowd let out an exasperated gasp as we kissed to seal his vow. _There was no way I can match that._ Even my Dad seemed to be holding back a tear. Now it was my turn to attempt to be romantic in some small way to my future husband. I looked into his eyes and mustered all the emotion I possibly could.

"Jacob Black. You're the most perfect creature in the world. The day I met you I fell for you and you took my breath away. I'm so proud to be standing here and today is the happiest day of my life. I can't wait to be your wife"

_Ok so it wasn't to Romeo Blacks standards, but this Juliet wasn't completely devoid of emotion._

As the minister finished the ceremony, we were soon pronounced as Man and Wife and Dads old Chevy truck, the vehicle that brought us together, had been decorated with confetti and we drove the short 5 miles to a specially erected gazebo on Harry Clearwaters grounds at La Push. I felt I was marrying into the community, rather than just the Black family.

The obligatory speeches soon started, with my father surprising us into admitting that him, my Mom and Billy had not only arranged the necessary deposit for us to move into a small 2 bedroom cottage in Forks, but had also furnished it accordingly as a wedding gift. I rarely cried, but I felt overwhelmed at their generosity, not to mention I desperately wanted to take Jacob home. Even though we were now husband and wife, I still yearned for him. _Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones?_

The party carried on until late into the night, soon family and friends disbanded and I was feeling the exhaustion. Not wanting a re-cap of my previous hospital visit, Jacob and I excused ourselves to go home. There was no honeymoon plan, purely because we couldn't afford it. Jacob had promised us a weekend away after the baby was born.

Those first few weeks at home as newly-weds was blissful. I knew I hadn't made a mistake, Jacob was so loving and attentive. We shopped together for baby clothes and decorated the nursery. Jacob was adamant the baby would be a girl; I was sure it was a boy. Talking to my boss Jeanette, who had given birth to 4 sons, confirmed this;

"You're carrying a bump in front" she told me one day "This means you're definitely having a boy. If you carry all-round, that signifies a girl. All my boys were in-front-bumps and when I had Stephanie, I was all-round. It told me I needed to buy pink for the first time!" she grinned as she continued "It's all old wives tales really, but for me it was true. And after four rambunctious sons, that baby girl was a blessing!"

After that conversation, I was pretty convinced. We had decided that if it was a boy, the name was my choice and vice versa for him if it were a girl. He had instantly chosen Sarah. That was his Mothers name and the only one in the running. Admittedly I didn't like it at first. I preferred, and therefore suggested, Charlotte; after Charlotte Brontë, one of my favorite authors but Jacob was insistent. We had gone thorough mountains of baby name books and nothing else was suitable for his daughter. If the baby was a girl, she would definitely be called Sarah. _Oh well, at least it's not another Madison or Kayla,_ I thought. Having a older style name had it's advantages in the class room at least. As a compromise, Jacob suggested my Moms name as a middle name. My Mom would love that.

I was stuck on names for boys. Jacob did throw 'Jacob Junior' into the mix, I ruled that out completely, yet compassionately. Jacob was a nice name, but I didn't like the idea of having two Jacobs in the house. I trundled through baby books, not really liking any of the modern, trendy names, so I started once again on my classic English literature, hoping for inspiration. I picked up my old, tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice; I almost knew the text off by heart I had read it so much. My favorite character was Mr Darcy. Darcy sounded like a girls name, so that was not acceptable. _I wonder what Mr Darcys first name is?_

A quick Google search later, I'd found that his full name was Fitzwilliam Darcy. _Fitzwilliam?Fitz? Fitzwill? William? William!_

I felt a connection instantly. Then a light came on above my skull. _Billys full name is William._ It all made sense. _Baby William._ Who better to name my son after than someone like Billy, who had been so kind to me since the day I fell of the plane. As an added bonus, I decided to attach my Dads name to the mix. William Charlie Black was going to be a very loved little boy indeed.

37 weeks into my pregnancy and I had left work on maternity leave. It was a Friday night and Jacob had been invited out to celebrate Leah Clearwaters birthday. I too had been invited, but respectfully declined the invitation due to my lack of coordination with the huge protruding bump. Jacob had planned to decline too, so that he could stay at home with me, but I insisted he go out with his friends. Once William arrived, for I was certain by now he was definitely a William, Jacob would not have either the time or money to have fun with his friends. My party days were definitely over.

Jacob had finished work early to come home to tend to his poor pregnant wife. In our language, to be 'tended to' generally meant sex. Our sex life was as vivacious as ever, even though he had been careful at first. "I don't want to hurt the baby", was all he'd say to me. After I had consulted Dr Cullen, who had confirmed that sexy during pregnancy was absolutely fine and there was no risk, Jacob had been like a dog on heat. _Being Mrs Black was great._

After he had showered, got dressed and kissed me goodbye, I wondered if I should joke to him that Dr Cullen also mentioned that sex can bring on labor? _Naaah, otherwise he'll never leave. _Normally I would have been concerned, but we had sex so often that if that were the case, I'd have given birth by now. _Yet another old wives tale._

I settled down to watch re-runs of Ugly Betty. I must have been either bored or tired or a mix of both as by the time I woke, it was 9.17pm. As I stood up to get a glass of water, I felt an almighty pain shoot me in the abdomen. I'd experienced Braxton Hicks contractions. These were nothing like that. _Oh shit, that old-wives tale was right!_

The pain was unbearable, I was glad at this point to not have close neighbors as I screamed with the stabbing pain. I picked up my cell off the table and speed-dialed Jacobs number....

"Hey you've reached Jacob, sorry I can't take your call....." the voice mail responded. I hung up as another contraction hit me. There was only one other person I could call. I dialed the number for my Dad, there was no answer. _Shit, I'm alone and giving birth. This was the one thing I didn't want to happen. _I knew ringing my Mom would do no good, she was over 5 hours away and she would just panic.

_I know, I'll ring the police station._

As I waited for the other side to pick up, a large contraction hurtled towards my throat, culminating in a high pitched scream just as Janice, the receptionist, picked up

"Good Lord? Who is this? Are you alright?" she spoke worryingly down the phone

"Janice.... Janice it's Bella. I need my Dad, is he there?" I gasped down the line

"Oh good gracious, hang on child" I heard her shout to down the office "Charlie, CHARLIE! It's your Bella, she sounds like she's in some sort of pain". My Dads desk was several meters from Janice's yet it took him a split second to get on the phone

"Bella? What's wrong? Is the baby ok?

"I think I might be in labor Dad. Jacobs not here. What do I do?" I was starting to panic by this point.

"Stay there Bella, I'm going to come and get you. Get your hospital bag ready and I'll be there as soon as possible. Ring your Mom!"

I did as I was told. I grabbed my pre-made hospital bag. I would get my Dad to call Jacob. I quickly rang my Mom, who as soon as she was told I was in labor, hung up to ring for the next available flight to Seattle. It would take her over 5 hours and she had to stop in San Francisco for a connecting flight. Hell nor high water, it would seem, would stop her from being at the birth of her first grandchild.

True to his word, my Dad arrived and threw the front door open. "Come on Bells, let's go!" He supported my frail, large body to the passenger side and threw my holdall into the boot. He stuck his sirens on and I looked at him with an absurd expression. "It's an emergency Bella, emergencies get the police siren" Another contraction soon took hold. _This kid better be worth the agony._

Dr Cullen, who seemed to live at the local hospital, was there on our arrival. He greeted me with a heartwarming smile "Well Bella, today's the day it would seem, would you care for a seat?" He gestured to the wheelchair he was holding.

"Thank you Dr Cullen." I smiled, grimacing

"How are your contractions, have you been counting them?" he asked as he flipped his chart over.

"They're painful and about every 2 minutes" I winced as another took hold. I joked "So, when's my epidural?"

My head felt cloudy. I wondered if it was the pain dulling my senses. As I blinked, my eyes wouldn't open again. I heard the sounds around me go hazy and the whole area went black. I didn't feel like I'd hit the ground.

I woke up once more. Where was I? I was horizontal, being wheeled somewhere. I saw the ceiling tiles pass me like cars on a freeway. The only audible voice was Dr Cullen; "We need to get this baby out now! She's hemorrhaging"

"Where are the drugs?" I mumbled. And with that, the haze returned and I stumbled into the darkness.

_Was I dead?_

There was nothing. You're told your life flashes before your eyes when you die. I saw nothing. _Is this death?_

In the background I could hear voices screaming, instruments clanging but nothing of any substance. I wondered if I was dead and they were fighting for my life. _Was my baby dead too?_ I heard no babies crying. I heard the screams of a woman. _Was it my mother? Had she arrived? What time was it? Was it today or tomorrow or three years from now?Had I been in a coma?_

_Where was Jacob? I hope my Father called him._

_William._

_Where was my William?_

_I love you William._


End file.
